Strictly Monkies 2011 – Pre-Voting (Safety Sex-Face Edition)

Eggwina got none, Harry got the most, and considering how long he’s stuck around, Jason’s got surprisingly little…

That’s right, the Monkies is adding a whole raft of new awards this year. On top of the usual, we’ll be doling out awards for “Best Episode”, “Best Prop/Stagecraft”, and “Worst Comedy VT”. But the most exciting new award? Undoubtedly the one for best Safety Sex-Face. The darkness, the lights, the sonorous Tess booming and then… SAFETY SEX-FACE! But who did the best gurning? Whose face best represents the sheer JOY of being hauled through another week to learn a sodding cha-cha? Voting will initially go by celebrity, with each partnership’s best face moving through to the final to face off for the SAFETY SEX-FACE GLITTERBALL. For each celebrity you’ll be shown all theie safety sex-faces. Vote for the one you love most, in numerical order.

(NB : Being hardcore fans please feel free to vote just as much for the pro as for the celeb…)

Alex Jones







Anita Dobson






Audley Harrison


Chelsee Healey









Harry Judd










Holly Valance






Jason Donovan






Lulu




Robbie Savage






Rory Bremner


Russell Grant






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46 thoughts on “Strictly Monkies 2011 – Pre-Voting (Safety Sex-Face Edition)

  1. laliskali

    so many wonderful choices Mr Monkseal- you spoil us! i just want to keep all of jason’s in sequence; it’s like a hideous story unfolding

    Reply
  2. BuddyBontheNet

    Grinning from ear to ear! 😀 I choose number 4 for Lulu and Brendan because he looks so happy to be out – and she doesn’t! Some truly fantastic shots of some of the pros too! Brilliant! 😉

    Reply
  3. Laoi

    I just love seeing how horrendously bored some of the pros and celebs get as they go along. Ola, Erin and Lulu in particular.

    And I wanted to vote for all of Harry’s little middle class jumps of joy.

    Reply
  4. AWench

    Thanks for all those. So much joy! I’ve gone for Lulu No.2 because she looks appropriately disappointed at Brendan’s efforts. For all the rest, I’ve chosen the one where it looks like the man is having a sneezing fit.

    Reply
  5. Carl

    I think this teaches up a valuable lesson – restrained sex faces get you to the end of the competition. Chelsee makes the same face most of the time, only once does Harry have that “someone is doing something inappropriate to me right under the view of the camera” (#3), Jason seems to be mostly terrified of Kristina. I chose the one with Holly/Artem where they both look disgusted/bemused at something offcamera (#4), because that’s probably how they would look with sex faces. Either that or Artem would cry. Someone should have told Rory to impersonate Tony Blair doing a sex face – he didn’t seem enthused to do it as himself. I chose Alex #4 and Anita #5, as those are the most blatant for “where is her partner’s hand”.

    Natalie is a very selfish sex face partner…

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I think she was just over sex-facing to make up for her partners deficits. Ola’s another one for it. I’m surprised she didn’t make Robbie stand in a starfish shape whilst she sex-faced around him.

      Reply
  6. Neio

    If Lulu’s no. 2 face is really her sex face, that’s some very inanimate sex she’s having (Poor Howard/Jason OrangeGary Borelow/whichever one of Take That she supposedly shagged).

    I must admit I had to vote for Harry’s no. 5 face, purely for the bicep. I’m not made of stone people…

    Even in her Safety Sex Faces, Erin looks like she’s just laying back and thinking of Erin Island.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Would you rather Lulu be animate or inanimate whilst having sex with her? Does anyone want to ponder that question? Because I do not.

      Reply
  7. mimms

    For someone who gurns a lot when he dances, Jason’s sex faces are surprisingly dull.
    Anita should win the prize for best series of Sex Faces.

    Ola’s sex faces totally overwhelm Robbie’s. A bit like her dancing…

    Reply
  8. pamminxy

    had to be number 4 for anita – can’t see her face (snarky witty comments redacted) tho it would have been nice to have the saggy back wrinkles cropped – how the hell can she have so much excess? she has never had any excess weight to lose has she?
    and no 4 for Flavia – it’s the imaginary knife in her hand as she screams “no more” behind that rictus grin

    Reply
      1. pamminxy

        lol age has already arrived for me – i am not much younger than anita – and have been massively overweight and lost most of it which is why i am so surprised
        but to make up for it shall i send her a bottle of hair conditioner? :-p
        i would have liked her a bit/lot more if she had brought a bit more of her ange fire than the saccharine luvvvvvvviness – her best performance was in the opening credits

        good luck with the never ageing – i enjoy it – even the shock when i keep realising i am in fact no longer 20 something 😀

  9. SV

    Found it quite difficult to pick up ANY emotion in Lulu’s…. and then Jason’s nearly put me off lunch.

    Picked the paso one for Russell (partly coz of Flavia) and picked the Audley, Robbie and Rory’s using the pros’ expressions.

    Picked Harry’s down to Aliona’s look as well but at least there Harry was showing emotion.

    Overall found it quite difficult.

    Reply
  10. Neil K

    Some great safety sex faces there but I have to believe that Robbie and Ola (picture 5) is the early favourite for the crown as that’s some damn fine safety sex they’re having.

    Reply
  11. Katy

    I went for the Russell one where you couldn’t see his face…

    and the one of Holly rolling her eyes.
    and the one of bloodylulu looking really pissed off…

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      She only has one. Every other time she was either in the Bottom Two or not announced safe, just left til the end. Therefore it automatically qualifies for the final (same with Dan Lobb).

      Reply
  12. Amy

    I had to vote for 5 when it came to Harry and Aliona, purely because Aliona looks like she’s enjoying a huge invisible bowl of custard.

    Reply

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