Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Week 11 Results Summary

First and most importantly, tonight saw the last ever (FINGERS CROSSED) edition of Len’s Glans. This takes the form of a quick blitz through of tonight’s dances (and Alex’s knickers) in slow motion, and a “Best Of” for the series so far. This features Bruno’s Wembley Meltdown, Ola kicking off and, my own personal highlight, Craig crawling up to Bruce calling him the consumate professional and improviser. Well it made me laugh anyhow. We also say goodbye to Claudia for another year by…showing a montage of Russell Grant clips. I’m sure it made sense in the production meeting.

ANYWAY! Pro-dances. It appears that, as her last act of benevolance before she sods off to The Voice, Evil Moira Ross has sat on record company bosses until they crack and let the Strictly pros play with the special guest artists. This consists of Natalie going TURBO-SLAG to Aloe Blacc as Brenda watches, terrified, from the sidelines in a stupid hat ; and Vincent & Flavia doing a very classy Christmas Dance to the Military Wives. This mostly makes me hope for a Flavia & Gareth MEGAPAIRING next year. Although let’s face it, they’d stick him with Aliona and he’d spend of his time on the show hiding in a cupboard hyperventilating. Also pro-dancey is a paso to Paint It Black with the female pros all in neon pink. Oh this show sometimes, it’s so very Strictly.

(*There was a showdance somewhere around here. It looked much the same as always. I’m skimping definitely because I’m hoping it provoked Pasha, Kristina and Aliona in the minimum to copy it. Honest*)

Results? Chelsee’s put through first, and Harry shortly afterwards. Chelsee probably wins on histrionics, but history has shwon that this is a poor predictor of who will go on to win (*cough*HAMMIE*cough*). This leaves Jason, Alex, and Holly all waiting it out to the end, where it’s Jason and Holly who get the good news, and Alex who is left to go home. She pays tribute to James’ patience and lack of patience all at the same time. Holly meanwhile cries like a sloppy dollop and Artem apologises fulsomely for all the times he was ever mean then they both collapse hugging and weeping on one another.

It’s always the ones you least expect isn’t it?

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18 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Week 11 Results Summary

  1. Verns

    I’d love to know whose idea it was to give Ola, Aliona and Kristina neon pink mega-trains to trip over, so we I could cross them off my Christmas card list.

    I loved Natalie shamelessly flirting with Aloe Blacc – please confirm with your screencaps that she didn’t really put her hand on his groin during that dance?

    Reply
    1. Kelly

      It certainly looked like Natalie was trying to find the loose change in his pocket (perhaps to give him a dollar) and missed. I’ll be honest, she frightened me a little in that number.

      Reply
  2. Monaogg

    Just now waiting to see who is inspired by the gymnastic weightlifting to music! Bacofoil anyone? πŸ˜‰ Though you would have thought after all these years the PTB would come up with something more original.

    Looking forward to your full summaries with eager anticipation. πŸ˜€

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I love that even as the show sprints as fast as it can from ballroom dancing, it’s still not running away from “Authentic Showdance” fast enough for most of the audience.

      Reply
  3. ferny

    Awww at Holly at the end, she seemed to actually care in the last 2 episodes lol
    I think Alex probably should have gone last week, she seemed a bit broken this week.
    Right top 3 though so yay for that!

    I don’t know what to make of the ‘funky’ comment by Pasha. I love Pasha but I wouldn’t ever describe him as funky.

    Reply
  4. Little Nemo

    I’m missing Holly already 😦

    Brendan can’t wear a hat like Artem does, I reckon that’s why Natalie was getting frisky with the singer πŸ˜‰

    Reply
    1. Carl

      I’ll miss Holly too. I’m actually a little amazed she lasted this long, but glad she did. For the longest time I thought she was going to be one of those people I enjoyed for their personality and nothing else, but that paso and the foxtrot were killers.

      Reply
    2. monkseal Post author

      I am uncomfortable with any situation where Katya is not held up as the pinnacle of hattery, I apologise, but I cannot answer this comment.

      Reply
  5. Carl

    Not to go all Comic Book Guy, but that first pro dance is the worst I can remember on Strictly. It started with Kristina apparently getting appendicitis from trying Aliona’s choreography, then went to the men being badly out of time with each other, finally dragging on, and on, as the singers interminably churned out a high-energy song. The outfits on the women were ugly and strangely vulgar.

    At first I thought Marcus from X-Factor had dropped in to sing for us. I was quickly distracted by Brendan apparently…doing something. It reminded me of the hooting from the critics when Barbara Streisand “got down” at the end of A Star is Born. Brendan is many things but Artem + Derek Hough he is not. And Natalie randomly crotch-grabbing the musical guest…I guess she was unleashing her impulses now that Audley’s wife isn’t around.

    Reply
    1. PadsterMo

      Worse than Aliona’s ‘Who Rule The World?’ number? Worse than Flavia’s Bondage Fantasy – I mean Flavia’s Tango Unleashed? Worse than MATTFLINTMANIA and the Bacofoil Trouser Debacle?

      I know it wasn’t Team Ka$ha’s Orgy In The Deep (nothing ever will be……sigh), but it certainly wasn’t the worst, not even the worst this series!

      Reply
      1. Carl

        I don’t even remember Flavia’s tango. I’d say this is worse than the trouser one mostly because I could at least chuckle at that. Aliona’s was bad, really bad, but the women weren’t dressed like they were going to have serious chafing, so…I don’t know. Those scenes of Kristina holding her stomach in pain were just too disturbing for television, even if she may have just been doing what she does every time she has to talk to Jason.

  6. Gordon

    i think the disparate attitudes of the contestants are best summed up from saturday night’s twattings:

    from holly’s twitter “….how can I ‘enjoy every min’ of a ‘semi’ anyway?!? What r ya meant 2 do with half mast? SEMI-FINAL!! ”

    from chelsea’s… “I am a really positive person would love nothing more than to make it through #wouldmakemylife xxxx”

    holly, you were wasted there. WASTED.

    Reply

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