5 Reasons Why This Year’s Christmas Special Might Not Suck

1. No BARROWMAN : Or, more specifically, if you are a BARROWFAN, and bless you if you are, no brittle and awkward Fern Britton, no stuffy and awkward Vince Cable, and no…well Ronni Ancona’s an impressionist isn’t she? And we all know what they’re like. It took Rory Bremner about a month to start acting normal, let alone the length of a Christmas Special. Yes June Brown was a bit of a laugh, but she was on a planet all of her own, and not enough to counter-act the general edginess of everyone else on the show.

2. A possible trophy for Katya, Ian or Vincent : Yeah, sure Erin and Anton too, but Erin and Anton both already have one (…of sorts). Just feels wrong. Still, Katya’s got the male hunk in Him From Blue, Ian’s got the secret RINGAH in Debra Stevenson (I dunno, she done alright on “Let’s Drag Up For Comic Relief” or something…) (although it should be pointed out, she IS an impressionist, and therefore will reveal new depths of human behavious on the show), and…well, you should never count out an Eastenders actress on the show, as Vincent is partnered with soap-MEGABITCH Janine Butcher. All of them hunting for their first ever trophy. Personally I’m hoping for Ian most of all, but after Rochelle Saturdays and Sophie Rayworth let him down so badly, dare I to dream even for a crappy side-tournament tin-foil trophy for him? I hope so.

3. Potential SUPOLLARDOWNAGE! : Any excuse, any excuse. I mean, I know it’s not very Christmassy, but Anton HAS to choreograph a routine to this. He has to. His sterling work with Nancy this week showed he had the comedy chops to really produce a masterpiece. Su must be dressed as a Yellowcoat. Su must be loud and obnoxious at all times. Su must have access to a time-machine, and ride in on a pterodactyl. Su must lay waste to all she sees.

4. Pasha is in it : Pasha was not in last year’s Christmas Special. You do the maths.

5. I might recap it : Notice I said might…

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18 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why This Year’s Christmas Special Might Not Suck

  1. Left Feet

    I thought that the Christmas special was supposed to be for those celebs so busy that they can’t commit to the main show? Some bloke from Blue and Sue Pollard, what are they doing which means that they are worthy of a special? and I thought that too of Ronni Acona and Fern Britton.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      Looking at the line-ups it seems to be more for people who wouldn’t pass the psych test for a full series…

      Reply
    2. Steven

      I was wondering it was more “people who are too scared to sign up for a full series where you have to face eliminations and public votes and other things that could deliver irreversible damage to your ego”. Although I suppose that still doesn’t explain what Su Pollard’s doing here, because I refuse to believe that Su Pollard has ever worried about what the public think of her.

      Reply
  2. themumster

    Such a shame because I love Ian but Debra Stevenson is just irritating as proved by her appearance on Let’s Resurrect Your Career For Comic Relief.

    Reply
  3. Ferny

    Why are people voting Debra over Su?! I wouldn’t mind impressionists if they acted like normal humans. It’s like a weird version of Tourettes when they can’t stop doing impressions every minute.

    Anyhoo, I’m just glad Fern Britton (my namesake unfortunately) didnt end up doing the full series after the special. Who’s your money on to go on to the next proper series? I reckon Simon.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      We didn’t get any transfers from the last lot did we? So I’d guess none of them – it’ll be one of those lady newsreaders I reckon.

      Reply
  4. Carl

    “Su must ride have access to a time-machine, and ride in on a pterodactyl”

    Do you really want a BARROWMAN cameo?

    Do you enjoy the Christmas specials more now that they don’t have former contestants? I thought the one with Hollins/Whittle/Bastain spoiled the mood.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I do prefer when they have older contestants with the best of the new people, just because it lets people who were previously ROBBED pick up a trophy. Or, if you’re Austin, just do a random paso to Bohemian Rhapsody.

      Reply
  5. Verns

    As much as I love Ian (who doesn’t, frankly), I shall most probably be rooting for Katya and Simon. Is Pasha in it? Or do you mean ‘in it’ as in ‘doing a pro dance in the Christmas Special’?

    Reply
  6. Poppy

    I got very confused in the poll there, because I was looking for Ian’s name in the first column and wondered what Su Pollard was doing there. I really think you should put the pros first, because let’s face it, they’re all far more famous than whoever it is they’re dancing with. And I voted for Ian. Because he’s amazing. End of.

    Reply

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