The Hallowee’en Results Show comes and goes without any sighting of Ghostbusters. Just shows this programme always repeats the things it shouldn’t and doesn’t repeat the things it should. Which is why The Wanted don’t get Team Ka$ha jiving all up in their face and instead have to put up with having a bunch of semi-naked lingerie models paw at them instead. If I were them I’d be MORTIFIED! Which I guess, is why I’m not in The Wanted. Amongst other reasons. (My head being a normal shape, for one) Instead for pro-dances we’ve got a bunch of nerds doing sexy dancing in the woods at midnight. Girls are present, so it’s a sight that’s unfamiliar to me. The best part is how everyone’s still wearing the make-up they had on in the performance show, so James’ nerd is a vampire and Robin’s has octopus jizz squirted in its eyes. The only one suited by it is PASHA, DUH! Oh and there’s a pro American Smooth which is lovely I’m sure, but actually not as exciting as the group Viennese Waltz the dance troupe did in the same slot last year. Not that we’re supposed to acknowledge that the dance troupe were ever good for anything outside of inspiring the occasional ABBA megamix.
Len’s Glans has degenerated at this point into laughing at faces the judges make specifically to provide content for Len’s Glans, and the same old tired rote laughing at Russell’s chubby little face. Rarely has a segment so reliably pointless and awful made the main show. Well done. It’s like primetime Ask Len.
Results then? Robbie whines about his 4 from Craig, and as punishment is left as last to be revealed as safe, but in the end the Bottom 2 is Audley vs Nancy, as we all knew it would be, and it turns out to be Audley on the winning side of that particular power struggle this week. And so Nancy is leaving us, finally, and does so in true Nancy style, babbling away about nothing and everything and punting half her costume across the floor whilst Anton pulls sarcastic faces behind her back. Sniff. She will be missed. By me anyway.
Next week : JENNIFER GREY WEEK.