Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Week 5 Results Summary

The Hallowee’en Results Show comes and goes without any sighting of Ghostbusters. Just shows this programme always repeats the things it shouldn’t and doesn’t repeat the things it should. Which is why The Wanted don’t get Team Ka$ha jiving all up in their face and instead have to put up with having a bunch of semi-naked lingerie models paw at them instead. If I were them I’d be MORTIFIED! Which I guess, is why I’m not in The Wanted. Amongst other reasons. (My head being a normal shape, for one) Instead for pro-dances we’ve got a bunch of nerds doing sexy dancing in the woods at midnight. Girls are present, so it’s a sight that’s unfamiliar to me. The best part is how everyone’s still wearing the make-up they had on in the performance show, so James’ nerd is a vampire and Robin’s has octopus jizz squirted in its eyes. The only one suited by it is PASHA, DUH! Oh and there’s a pro American Smooth which is lovely I’m sure, but actually not as exciting as the group Viennese Waltz the dance troupe did in the same slot last year. Not that we’re supposed to acknowledge that the dance troupe were ever good for anything outside of inspiring the occasional ABBA megamix.

Len’s Glans has degenerated at this point into laughing at faces the judges make specifically to provide content for Len’s Glans, and the same old tired rote laughing at Russell’s chubby little face. Rarely has a segment so reliably pointless and awful made the main show. Well done. It’s like primetime Ask Len.

Results then? Robbie whines about his 4 from Craig, and as punishment is left as last to be revealed as safe, but in the end the Bottom 2 is Audley vs Nancy, as we all knew it would be, and it turns out to be Audley on the winning side of that particular power struggle this week. And so Nancy is leaving us, finally, and does so in true Nancy style, babbling away about nothing and everything and punting half her costume across the floor whilst Anton pulls sarcastic faces behind her back. Sniff. She will be missed. By me anyway.



28 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Week 5 Results Summary

    1. Neio

      I agree, they both looked extra hot in that geekwear. Robin and James… not so much.

      I’m so sick of Robbie whining about the scores, he’s such a big girl’s blouse. I really hope he joins Audley in the bottom two next week.

  1. Ferny

    Missed by me too πŸ™‚

    I wish they’d stop slow-moing Russell’s ‘little face’ every flippin’ week. We get it already! I liked Russell anyway without having to be told I’m supposed to every second.

    Also, did you know Audley has BIG FEET! BIG FEET! SIZE 17! LOL! LIKE CANOES!

    1. monkseal Post author

      I’m just glad that the “YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT MEN WITH BIG FEET!” joke has only been made once. By my count.

  2. melisande

    Pasha looked fab in nerdy glasses, but by the end of the night the husband was saying ‘if you love Flavia so much why didn’t you marry HER?’ It was the catsuit wot did it.

  3. jspanero

    Nancy will be sorely missed, her loose grasp on reality (*hic*) and complete lack of self-awareness made her a joy to watch (except when she was dancing, of course). She is much more fun than Alex/Lulu/Audley/Anita/other crappy dancers who try so HARD and are so BORING anyway.

    1. Carl

      Nancy was fun because she never just fit into the box the show wanted to put her in – she was in her own world. Seeing Anton come unwound because of her was the only interesting thing he’s done in years.

      Len’s Glans is just an excuse for Len to make fun of people. He will always take that.

      I read yesterday about Robbie moaning on Twitter about his scores. Why doesn’t he moan to Ola since clearly she can see he has no dance talent and instead focuses on the cheapest possible stunts for him week in and week out? Next week she’s probably going to have him light his farts. And get a 10 from Len or Alesha.

      I can’t wait to see the pro dance in the woods.

      1. Kerry McCormack (@KerryMc1978)

        The thing with Robbie is, I think he might be ok/good at dancing if only Ola would actually choreograph some for him.

        Of course, now that i’ve said that she’ll probably provide a content full routine next week and he’ll be rubbish.

    2. seminaranalyse

      That salsa and waltz were a complete joy to watch. πŸ˜€ I will miss Nancy, she brought out the best of Anton (thats how comedy is done) and Alesha ( “2”). Who knows if she had triggered Aleshas 1 paddle in future?

      1. monkseal Post author

        I think her rumba was my favourite, although they’re all classics really. Her counting very slowly down the camera lens whilst tilting at a 20 degree angle and wafting her arms about at random will live with me forever.

    3. monkseal Post author

      I hope she gets a Dr Hamela/Widdy “come back and play the giddy arse all over ITT” slot next year. She won’t.

  4. Neil K

    I too love Flavia. In fact, she’s the marry in my snog, marry, avoid game (snog Katya, of course) but tonight I’m quite chuffed because I’ve won a tenner off my deputy at work who was sure Audley would go. Between Strictly evictions, Apprentice-cull and Hells Kitchen USA-no jacket for you’s, I stand to make an extra Β£200 over the course of the year πŸ˜€

    1. AWench

      Extrapolating, given that the other two are girls a nice boy wouldn’t be ashamed to take home to meet his mother – avoid has to be Aliona.

      Mind you, since beginning her Len-baiting campaign, she has been steadily rising in the daughter-in-law material stakes.

  5. Kelly

    I hope in next week’s post-eviction interview, the evictee says “I’ve had the time of my life, I’ve never felt like this before.”

    I think this means I want next week’s show to be over already.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I hope they do it in Bill Medley’s stupid zombie voice as well. IF ONLY RORY WERE STILL HERE. He could have done an impression (that would have sounded like Tony Blair but STILL)

  6. Poppy

    What man isn’t improved by a pair of Geek glasses? Well, James for a start. But I’ve always had a thing for geeky men, so to have both Pasha and Artem all geeked up at once was almost too much.

    Plus, what *was* Tess wearing? It looked as if the zip had come undone at the side and exposed her shocking pink, fraying underpinnings.

    Lens Glans has run its course, I feel. Also, can Bruno get his legs any wider apart on that sofa? I fear he’ll do himself an injury (or whoever’s sitting next to him) if the segment carries on much longer.

    1. monkseal Post author

      He probably needs an airing after keeping all that Harry-Love pent up under that desk. Bet it’s dead…musty under there.

  7. joanne

    did you know it was halloween and that next week they will all be back …well minus loopy tunes πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ I suspect biggians was disappointed he wasnt sat next to princess bee πŸ™‚ where do they drag em up from and if he is on scd next year i hope they give him aliona….that should stump her …her dances really will be unrecongisable…..

    1. monkseal Post author

      They should get Janice on as well and let her beat him AS SHE SHOULD HAVE ON I’M A CELEBRITY.

      I didn’t even watch it and I know that.

  8. min

    James’ hair do showed that he wasn’t quite as touchy about a receeding hairline as I thought he would be, which was a surprise.


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