So, podium dancing is apparently a thing on the show this year, as a result of a Kristina, Robin and Artem choreographed opening number prodance. (What, was Aliona not invited along to play?). I eagerly await next week’s pro-dance featuring poles, cages, whips and chains. Obviously it will be choreographed by Flavia. Speaking of which she and Vincent put on their annual Argentine Tango showcase and it is intricate and steamy and ridiculous as ever. I hope to God Dr Hamela isn’t asked about it otherwise they’ll have to extend It Takes Two to 45 minutes and get the Black Bars Of Censorship ready. Rounding out our pro-dances for the week are Pasha and Katya, jiving the very living hell out of a Caro Diamond number. Whoever she is.
Oh God, Len’s Glans is still here, and worse than ever. Everyone goes into pant-wetting hysterics over 5 seconds of slow-mo footage of Robbie pumping his chest, Russell’s face (again, for the billionth time), Nancy doing…something, and Robin throwing Anita aorund like a carpet. There’s then a Hallowe’en preview comedy VT which is essentially the same unfunny joke told 13 times (“SCREAM SCREAM!” “WHAT’S THE MATTER?” “I’VE LOST ME LIP-GLOSS DUCKY!” *gayface*) which in a way makes it really more of an appropriate preview VT for Broadway Week.
Results? Well Nancy is officially this year’s Bottom 2 Goddess as she is plunged right back down there without a Bottom 2 Bounce, and she’s joined by Rory who was on early in the show, did his worst dance yet, did the most boring dance of the show, got low marks, and talked about how crap he was to a slightly needy degree. Naturally, Len is still SHOCKED he’s in the bottom 2. SHOCKED. What’s even more SHOCKING is that he’s going home, as Nancy lives to claw her way into Hallowe’en Week. Somehow.
The most salient fact of the whole show, however, is that Alex Jones, after a month of being electrocuted, repeatedly yelled at, dressed horribly, forced into training at all hours, and called a giant cold unsexy slab of rotten tofu by Craig, is utterly broken and now hating every second of the show. Hooray! FUN FUN FUN!