Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Week 3 Results Summary

So, two results shows in and Len’s Glans is still here. Predictably enough it’s already devolved from what is notionally an excuse to seriously critically analyse the minutiae of a dance right down to basically playground bullying where the judges slow everything down just to poke fun at the ridiculous faces everyone is pulling. As writer of this blog, I feel I am in the BEST POSSIBLE POSITION to criticise this.

The opening pro-dance this week is to a medley of the songs of West Side Story. I think. The only word the band sings throughout is “MAMBO!” (probably for the best given last night), so it’s hard to be sure of these things. Also performing on the pro side are Vincent & Flavia, doing a rumba to Susan Boyle shrilling thinly through “Unchained Melody”. Even though she’s pointlessly brought a whole chamber orchestra (or two) with her, they WILL NOT BE STOPPED. That’s the spirit! Take THAT, Syco!

But that’s not all! There’s even MORE dancing to come as visiting from America are Julianne Hough and the cast of Footloose. They reel their way through a truly dismal sludging up of “Holding Out For A Hero” for what seems like an age before KENNY MOTHEREFFING LOGGINS kicks in and things get good. Just like things always do when Kenny’s around. Things get so amazing that my favourite lady-contestant from So You Think You Can Dance – Fierce Rithy Pereira randomly turns up and starts doing a jig. I hope Matt Flint Mania had something to do with this, because then my newfound love for him can continue.

Erm, anyway, enough of other shows that nobody watched, what’s happening on this one? Well, Nancy is on the bottom 2, which is bad for my heart, because it means our time together is almost over, but joining her nobly as some sort of human shield is Dan Lobb. Who then goes home. And seems simultaneously grumpy about it, but also wanting everyone to know that he’s not really bothered or anything, because he’s so above all this. Which…would make a pattern.

Oh yeah, and Claudia wears the worst outfit ever. I guess she has to make this interesting for herself somehow.

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9 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Week 3 Results Summary

  1. Bella

    At first, I though claudia was wearing a cape…(probably saving that for her to wear on the Halloween special, I suppose. Her or Tess.)
    I can only imagine your near-heart-attack when chelsee and pasha were the last to be saved. I know I had one.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I was wondering whose arms were poking through. They didn’t look attached to the rest of her. She looked like the Hands from Zzzzapp.

      Reply
      1. JillyBoyd

        I thought she had turned into a bat for a minute. Ah well, would have made this a hell of a lot more interesting.

        I think part of my soul died during that awful version of Holding out For a Hero. More specifically, the part of me that still remembers Alesha’s showdance.

      2. monkseal Post author

        Can you imagine Alesha trying to showdance to that? I’ve never thought showdances made the blindest bit of difference and I’m still convinced we would have been staring down the barrel of Strictly Winner : Matt Di Angelo.

      3. Steven

        JillyBoyd – oddly enough, there was an episode of Cold Case on last night featuring the original version of Holding Out For A Hero, so I saved my Alesha showdance flashbacks for that instead.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I am reluctant to slag off any of the US Voices given that our only one currently announced is Jessie Bloody J.

      Reply

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