Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Week 3 Performance Summary

This week’s theme is Broadway. The show starts with the pros dancing to One from A Chorus Line. It’s not bad, especially as half the pros are clearly working outside their comfort zone. Lots of mirror work, lots of hat action, lots of vamping from Natalie. It’s perfectly enjoyable, until the celebs come out, and then it collapses like cheap wedding cake. This is pretty much the theme for the rest of the show.

Because the thing with Theme Weeks, is that they’re all well and good once we know which celebs have good basic technique and which don’t, across all three Strictly genres (elegant, party, passionate I mean. Ballroom and Latin what now?) so we can appareciate it when they subvert it with the more general choreography and stupid costumes but at this stage…what do we know? Not a lot.

Top of the leaderboard for the evening is taken pretty decisively by the boys. Whoever said straight boys couldn’t appreciate Musical Theatre. Even if, like Jason, they do it by doing a self-consciously camp tango to Gloria Gaynor. The faces go all the way through camp and right out the other side to unbearable. Other than that it’s a riot. Not much of a tango, but it is a Theme Week. Speaking of loose themes, Aliona pushes Harry through a Grease themed jiveish with great physical commitment but very little from the face. Also his hand is in his crotch at all times. Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Aliona has made him wax as well. This is definitively a very bad thing. Rory meanwhile benefits from Erin autopilot and the reaction it always produces from the judges, and James Jordan operates via the empty vessel that is Alex Jones in his usual stirling Viennese work. Rumbas and Viennese Waltzes. Those he can do.

The melange in the middle meanwhile is a mixed affair. Holly does some decent cage-work in her Chicago themed tango, but the rest is genuinely awful, and I can only imagine she’s coasting on reputation to score 30. Also scoring 30 somehow are Robbie doing some truly deadly chair work whilst walking around in a nominal tango to Gimme Gimme Gimme, and Chelsee whose general wrigglines and unsteadiness continues, and who appears on the verge of pissing Craig off forever with it. Pasha reamins, as ever, impeccable. Russell is also pulled up to mid-table, mostly by virtue of Bruno giving him an 8 for campness (Bruno scores by a small distance the highest this week. Try to look surprised). The routine is to Streisand and Flavia looks more beautiful than ever. Russell is a mixture of exuberant and awkward out of hold, but flat and poised in it. It’s his best dance yet, I guess. Very definitely not doing her best dance yet though is Anita who provides an invitation with Austin’s jive via music choice, and then sets it on fire by tottering around even worse than last week.

Oh and Robin wears a wig. But that’s really going to work better as a picture joke.

Stacked up in the bottom are the usual suspects : Audley being awkward and lumpy and charming through a quickstep ; Bloody Lulu just about performing Brendan’s one piece of genuine choreographical inspiration per series (See also : Vampire paso, the Kerplunk samba, TIME WARP) but walking into the annual tedious lift “controversy” at the same time ; Nancy being…Nancy. Just dipping down to join them is an increasingly ratty Dan, who is in a huff over Craig’s comments, overtalks Katya entirely, and tries too hard through a fairly bog-standard Katya Queen-themed Viennese Waltz. Billy Connolly will not be impressed. Maybe her going goo-goo eyes over someone is actually a sign she’s not fussed? Maybe Katya is just that different.

Here’s to the next theme week being…better. Generally.

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22 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Week 3 Performance Summary

  1. Poppy

    The high point for me was Artem opening the show. Fab. Looked a bit like he was auditioning to me. Not that he needs another job or anything…

    Totally agree about it being a waste to have a theme week so early on. I’d rather have waited until more of them could dance better/at all.

    Rather a lot of shouting of “Tell that to Kara and Artem” in my house when Len decided he didn’t mind people breaking the rules.

    Reply
  2. Ferny

    I agree that Broadway should have been kept til near the end because it has sooo much potential – and now the Chicago Tango (a thing I have always imagined doing in my dreams – with Artem as well of course) has been wasted.
    Halloween should be good though, judging by last year, which was one of my favourite nights.

    I’m hoping for a Dan vs. Lulu bttom 2 but I doubt either will be there sadly – especially as I really like Audley and most of the rest still in. I’m a bit worried about Holly and Chelsee tbh. I think Dan did the worst dance of the night (imo) but the problem he has is that he thinks he’s being severely undermarked. It’s never good when people get like that, even if they are good looking 🙂

    PS. Wasn’t it Michelle’s not Jo’s tango that Brendan did a fab job on?

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      See what happened there is that I wrote the three currently there, then wrote “Jo” in anticipation of adding whichever dance of hers was least bad there, and then…I don’t know, a squirrel or something. Jo Wood doing Time Warp though is a most fabulous thought.

      Reply
    2. isolde

      Lilia and Aled did a pretty decent dance to Cell Block Tango – with no cages and no messing abaht.

      Also i hate Hallowe’en week. People who might be able to a decent dance are scuppered by having to have green faces, pointy hats and totally inappropriate music

      Reply
      1. monkseal Post author

        I quite liked Hallowe’en Week last year. We got Scott’s Viennese Waltz, Kara’s paso doble, Patsy’s “jive”, and most importantly TIME WARP.

  3. Left Feet

    Next week is a “normel” week and then its Halloween Special again. That must have been the most “camp” week there was a few good routines but were spoilt by too hideous routines from Russell Grant and Jason Donavon, it was a camp off between them. Flavia and Kristina have been so lazy in their routines get those men dancing.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I quite liked the ridiculous over-exuberance of Jason’s routine, but I think by that point I might have been desperate to like…anything. The closest I’d got was Alex’s Viennese Waltz and that wasn’t great.

      Reply
  4. Carl

    I am disturbed by Russell, who can’t dance, still being given more steps and choreography than half or more of the others. If Russell can get out there and dance, why do Harry, Robbie, Anita, Alex, etc. barely manage to get past one-two.

    Normally I hate it when people bitch about Craig but Dan’s insults genuinely amuse me, maybe because they don’t involve homophobia or threats of violence. Unfortunately this is becoming the sole entertaining element of Dan’s presence.

    You’d think the judges would at least be appreciative of Chelsee wearing a more flattering hairstyle.

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I’d find Dan’s jokes more amusing if they were used to occasionally cut the tension, rather than being 95% of what he’s aired as saying. It’s got to the stage where I have to wait to the end of every second to parse it, because he may just be taking the piss.

      (Is a fine one to talk, clearly)

      Reply
  5. Marcela

    I think this series is breaking the record of most repetead songs: Vehicle, Memories, Papa Loves Mambo…did I forget something? Like there’s no more new songs out there. It’s just a bit irritating especially when the song has been danced to so well the first time around. Erm…Yes, I think Mavia’s salsa was one of the greatest of all times *ducks under the table and fears for dear life*.

    On another note, it’s time for Craig Kelly/Gary Rodhes/Dan Whatisface to go. We’ve seen that before and it wasn’t amusing. At all. Shame for Katbot, the poor thing 😦

    Great recap again, Monk Seal!

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I wonder if we have in fact run out of new songs. This may be it. Although I’m sure next time we have a significant wodge of Party Latin we’ll run through whatever R & B’s currently in the charts (‘is well aware he sounds like an old man*)

      Reply
  6. Meloz

    At this rate, they’re going to have display subtitles for the duration of each dance so we have a clue what it’s meant to be. I can only surmise that the judges were watching something completely different to the routines the BBC were showing us. Loving your recaps as always – first time I felt strongly enough about the general level of weirdness on the show to comment!

    Reply
    1. monkseal Post author

      I’d be happy to write any and all subtitles required to identify a dance. I feel I’ve watched this show for enough years now that I’d know better than half the pros anyway. Does Artem know what a salsambcha looks like? No he does not.

      Reply
  7. Misscarlet

    The (very) small section of jive content that Harry had to do looked like he might have been really good. Why would you not milk that if you were the pro?

    Reply
    1. Allgrownup

      The “bad porn” vibe from the VT would suggest some sort of milking. We do not produce custard on demand Aliona! 😉

      Reply

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