Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Week 2 Performance Summary

It’s time for the all-important Week 2 Latin-Ballroom tranisitions this time on Strictly. Who will struggle wi…oh no, wait, Holly and Russell are just doing Latin again? Really? OK. Holly cams AHT, does a salsa to Mas Que Nada and…it’s more or less the same as she was last week. She does manage to hit the 30+ barrier with it though, which is more than anyone else other than Jason does all evening. This means we are down to two potential winners ALREADY. Either that or my immutable laws of Strictly are in fact fallable. Russell CAMS AHT, does a salsa to Dancing Queen, that’s right Dancing Queen, he is DANCING and a QUEEN and he is DANCING, as a DANCING QUEEN, to the song DANCING QUEEN! And that’s about 15% as much as the show signposts it. Again it’s exactly the same as last week, minus the clam but, per the judges, a whole 4 marks better because, as we all know, per Len, salsa’s not a real dance anyway.

Ahem. So, APART FROM THEM TWO FOR SOME REASON, it’s time for the transition between Latin and Ballroom and vice versa. As usual, it’s those making the transition from Ballroom to Latin who end up the least convincingly transformed. That’s just the way it is – nobody said nature was fair. Most wounded by the transition are probably Rory and Dan, both of whom made decent, if awkward, stabs at walzes, but come utterly unstuck when asked to waggle their hips. Rory decides to rile the last gasps of the Mavia Mafia by basically just redoing Matt Di Angelo’s salsa, to the same music, minus wiggle to Arlene and also, you know, being good at it. Dan on the other hand, decides to go direct to “bad wedding disco” dancing, not passing Go on the way. Worst of all, Katya has no hat, and has allowed Dan to commit the most heinous sartorial crime of them all. An UNDONE BOW TIE! WITH SPANGLES ON IT!

More flattering Ballroom to Latin transformations are undergone by Chelsee (still got balance issues, still out of control in all directions, still partnered with Pasha so I don’t care) and Audley (still pretty useless, still clumsy, still really sweet and enjoying himself without SCREAMING about it in a really OVER THE TOP fashion all the time). Hopefully they both survive, but Audley’s position as worst of the men looks awkward.

Ballroom on the other hand seems to work wonders for almost everyone who gets it. It pulls both of the Jordans partners up from their stolid awkward Latin performances into something far more elegant in both cases, albeit a little over-acted. Who needed to see Alex Jones snog John Prescott of a Saturday evening? I know I did not. Kristina also is transformed via a ballroom routine that seems to exist entirely in her head, where she is every 1930s vamp who ever broke a private eye’s balls. She’s never looked better, and Jason is also there. The only person really to be hamstrung in the Latin to Ballroom crossover is Harry, whose posture is poor, arms are stiff, and connection to his partner is non-existant.

All of this of course ignores the Strictly Old Dears, who are all this week messing up all over the place. Anita, after putting out a decent waltz last week, sadly collapses in a giant liquorice meringue Carmen Miranda confection with no idea what she’s doing, apart from gaying it up at the judges. Which seems to work, as they sub her a brace of 7s anyway. Bloody Lulu does some weird nonsense with a giant dirty mirror then sinks her claws into Brenda’s arms and doesn’t let go. But it’s Eggwina and Nancy who really stink the joint out, particularly with Alesha. The former wanders around slowly and vaguely and then won’t stop whittering to Vincent about nothing, causing Alesha to throw marvelous shade her way in the hope that it shuts her mouth. Nancy on the other hand…displays her vagina to the camera, allows Anton to hurl her around like a lawn dart, and just…wriggles. With her bum stuck out. It’s BIZARRE. Alesha full on loses her temper, asks Nancy if that was supposed to be funny, and pulls out her two paddle.

A 2! From Alesha! If ever there was an argument to keep Nancy around to see what might happen next, there it is.


34 thoughts on “Strictly Come Dancing 9 – Week 2 Performance Summary

  1. Left Feet

    Now that really is the lowest score from Alesha wonder if she will give a 1. Still how Len gave that a five I don’t know and then his moan at Aliona for not listening to the judges was typical Len and I’m not a Aliona fan.
    Think Chelsee suffered from going first I guess they wanted Russell to be last as he is the comedy contestent this year, she is a bit mad but I prefered it to Holly’s who was too controlled and I think thats a probelm with Harry as well. They are both not letting go which is not a probelm with Jason (I disliked Kristina’s routine as I thought it was about her and there was not enough dancing) but the judges and the audidence like that didn’t work for me.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I don’t mind the scoring of Chelsee, but I hope Len’s problem with her is a temporary early “sloppy technique” thing and not a long-term personality clash thing because she’s a bit too gobby for him. Because that would be tiring.

      I can’t decide if Holly getting front-loaded with party Latin is a good thing or a bad thing, given her lack of comfort with it. On the one hand I doubt it’s the best first impression she could be making on the audience, and it doesn’t leave her room to have a breakthrough in one of them later on in the series. On the other it leaves her high-scoring ballroom to the end.

      1. Left Feet

        Not sure anyone really listens to Len any more he always seems to get more fan hate then any judge when he puts his grumpy git persona to use. Wonder he will replace him for a week please not Camilla Dallerup! Her blog marking is more barking then any of the offical judges.

      2. monkseal Post author

        I would have thought Karen was a shoe-in. They’ll probably stick Ian up in the spaceship for one week. With me (/not with me).

    2. monkseal Post author

      I would bet against any of Len, Alesha or Bruno ever giving a 1. I think that’s practically all but trademarked for Craig now. I wonder how many people would even remember that Arlene gave one once.

  2. Poppy

    I *loved* Chelsee’s Mr Tumnus trousers. There, I’ve said it. I was disappointed with Jason, this week, which was a shame after I was so enthusiastic last week. Another fist pump or three snuck in there as well, someone should really tell him. I thought it was a shame that Anita went wrong, because she did some quite good moving in there somewhere, if you could see her beneath the Test Card costume. What was the point of that huge great mirror in Bloody Lulu’s dance? It perplexed me. Also, Nancy. What? and indeed Why?

    1. monkseal Post author

      The entirity of twitter decided that the mirror was there to prove that Bloody Lulu is not a vampire. I’m not sure I entirely disagree.

      1. Kerry McCormack (@KerryMc1978)

        I thought the mirror was to play up to her ego. Brendan’s said ‘Have a quick fawn over yourself in the mirror and if you manage to get through the rest of the routine without falling apart, i’ll let you have another gaze at the end’. Of course, this meant that Brendan had to check himself out too :p

    2. Lorraine

      I loved Chelsee’s trousers too – they just suit her slightly zany persona. She & Pasha are fast becoming my favourite couple this year & am certainly enjoying them far more than Holly & Artem.

  3. Ferny

    I much prefer angry Alesha as it means she doesn’t just pull from her bag of ‘you look great’ ‘nice dress/shoes’ ‘you look like a princess’ ‘you’re hot’ etc.

    Nancy. Well I didn’t know it was possible but it was worse than last week. It will NEVER be as bad to me as Fiona Phillips (even if Nance just crawls out onto the floor like the girl from The Ring and passes out it won’t ever be THAT bad) but …what the hell was that? I don’t even know if Nancy thought that was good? Or she only thought she got bad comments because of her knee?!

    Anyway, I really like Anita & Robin still, and Chelsee. I also really like Robbie and Audley – although Robbie is a funny one. Not at all like I was expecting from his rep. He seems to be quite a sensitive soul, bless him, and he appears to be besties with Russell too. Not quite worked him out, but I will persevere like I did with Gavbot 🙂

    Also, I seem to remember you saying Edwina was wittier than Ann….which unfortunately has not become evident.

    1. monkseal Post author

      We’re all of us wrong sometimes. Anyway, I blame Vincent for not playing along /the show not factoring in a pause to allow for playing along. You know if that was Widdy they would have let her ramble on for HOURS.

      Also, Angry Alesha is my favourite Alesha.

      1. Ferny

        Quite right. The worst bit was when she was trying to get Vincent to say something and he was just staring ahead and said (with gritted teeth) ‘let’s hear what they have to say’. Oof.

        The real question is are there any more reality shows Edwina can go on?

      2. trundles

        I agree, let’s hope that Angry Alesha makes an appearance again.

        Edwina and Vincent now have the lowest Foxtrot score (19) ever! Wood, Calzaghe, Philips, Widdy and Sergeant used to share that honour (?) with 20 points.

      3. monkseal Post author

        That definitely doesn’t make a mockery of them saying how hard the foxtrot is, that not even Widdy went below half marks for it. Definitely not.

  4. Allgrownup

    It seems an Alesha “I had to endure THAT” is on it’s way. I just hope it isn’t prefixed with “Now Holly/Chelsee is gone”

    1. JillyBoyd

      The Mavia Maffia might reform for a special summit on how to anihialate Rory Bremner after tonight.

      Robbie was good, which suprised and delighted me. I hope this bodes well for the coming weeks.

      Nancy. Yeah, that happened.

      1. Left Feet

        Is that because he used the same music as Matt Diangelo? I think that they just about got away with it because I doubt anyone who is not a superfan would remember that music has been reused. I was not comparing Rory to Matt Diangelo because one is 50 something and one is 20 something, bit unfair.

  5. Penny

    FYI, Kristyna’s dance was not entirely composed of her own fantasies, she was being Jessica Rabbit from her big entrance number in WFRR. A great impersonation (and wardrobe nailed the dress) but since I think in the film the male audience remains seated throughout I’m not quite sure how it was relevant to a foxtrot where she was meant to be showcasing a competent celebrity dancer.

    Not that I care, since my heart belongs to Little Harry, who I think has that certain something.

  6. Lucia

    What can I say apart from can we keep Nancy in for a couple more weeks please. Don’t like Dan,I find him rather smug and arrogant.Loved the description up there ^^ of Chelseeee’s trousers as Mr Tumnus.

    1. monkseal Post author

      I love that my predicition that Nancy would turn out to be a delusional X Factor contestant has basically turned out to be true. I hope she keeps just this side of not being distressed by the whole thing.

  7. Missfrankiecat

    Pleased for Kristina to have finally hitched ‘a contender’ but Jason creeps me out a little bit. The faces are worse than the smug vicar. I loved Chelsee again, trousers and all. Another Louisa Lytton. And Audley radiated real pleasure in his dancing, inept as it was. Those were the two dances I enjoyed.

    1. Carl

      Jason turns every dance into an unmentionable sex act.

      I can’t stop watching the Chelsee sasha. I just love her enthusiasm, and that Pasha doesn’t try to step on her, as some other pros do.

      1. Left Feet

        Pasha was the right pro choice for Chelsee yes she does need to learn some control but I sort of prefer that to stage school kids and prefer someone to show enthusiasm when they dance which is not forced. I hope that Pasha can get her balanced because once he does she could be very good.

    2. monkseal Post author

      I’ve discovered on rewatching that I quite enjoyed Anita’s as well. What a final 3 that would be.

  8. PadsterMo

    I’m really glad Alesha has already started her ‘I had to endure THAT’ approach to the dances. Pissed off Alesha is definitely one of my favourite Aleshas.

    Rory is no Matt Di Angelo, but he seemed to be enjoying himself, which sold the routine for me and I really enjoyed it. Dan, on the other hand, seems a bit too pleased with himself – I’m sure he’s a decent guy in real life, but both here and on Daybreak he comes across as a bit of a prat. He’s with Katya, however, so I’ll no doubt be cheering him on in a few weeks in a repeat of my feelings towards Gavbot.

    James and the electrocution was just not funny. Jason unnerves me, Chelsee is a pleasent surprise, I really like Anita and Robin together, Robbia and Ola, and Audley and Natalie. Holly and Artem I can take or leave – I like each of them better separately than as a partnership, but I don’t know why?

    I’m assuming Karen will get out of the spaceship for Len’s week off, with Ian sitting in for her. Hopefully he can bring Jodi and her breasts with him.;

    1. monkseal Post author

      Apparently it’s Jennifer Grey. At least once. Says Jennifer Grey. I can barely wrap my head around it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.