Lordalan arrives at the house and tells the teams that they will be making biscuits, and then selling them to supermarkets, three pitches, whoever sells the most wins. Zoe (after a fight with Susan) and Helen are PMs, Melody and Zoe fight like cats in a sack all day, Helen is weak as water and Jim wins the entire task single-handedly, concept, manufacture, market research and pitching, everything, with sales of £1.6 million, severing finally and forever this show’s tenuous connection to reality, sending it off into the Phantom Zoe where whatever is currently possessing Helen lives. Team Zoe get nothing. No orders. None. Reward is to eat some cakes, Zoe gets fired, which would normally be the highlight of my tv viewing week but, well…
So that’s all the incidental, unimportant stuff covered.
TOM AND MELODY DO A ROLEPLAY! AS A PITCH! With props they have nicked from Apprentice Mansions! In which they are married! And he is covering his crotch with a cushion and they fight over what movies to watch and she implies that he enjoys “girly stuff” (ie wearing her knickers), and then they profess their love over biscuits as blowjob metaphors and Zoe descends on a cloud from heaven groaning “MADE IN SWANSEA!” and Susan just stands there but it’s STILL ALL AMAZING.
Then they go to Asda and IT ALL HAPPENS AGAIN, except this time Zoe and Melody are “best friends” with more seething barely repressed loathing between them than you’d find even in your average Boots advert, and Melody crams biscuits possibly laced with arsenic into Zoe’s face and Zoe winds up in some sort of digestive-induced coma burbling “I’M SPECIAL HEE HEE HEE!”.
There is no roleplay in the third pitch. This is definitely why they lose. Definitely.