American Idol 9 – Choices Week

So many choices.

Casey James’ choiceI find his wilful lack of caring kind of endearing at this point. Why wait for the judges to do the job for you via a song from Happy Feet or something when you can do it yourself by deliberately being as easy-going, unobjectionable and forgettable as possible given that the twin terrifying juggernauts of Crystal and Lee are about to do it anyway. Randy and Ellen were totally right in their affrontery, although Kara quacking on about how you can’t make a song your own if you’ve never heard it before, like originality doesn’t exist unless it’s in ripping something else off was classic Kara, with all that entails. Better to go out like this than like Jason Castro I guess. SCORE : 4/10

(What kind of fucked up world do we live in where Perez Hilton is considered an authority on new music? Hell in a handcart, folks. 5/10)

Crystal Bowersox’s Choice: Oooh, Crystal. Careful with the harmonica, sweetheart.  Remember what happened to Chikezie.  This song doesn’t have a terribly successful history on Idol either, so she really was taking her life into her hands with this one.  I didn’t think this was a particularly great performance from her – the passion was there, but it was rough around the edges – and while that’s normally all part of Crystal’s charm, tonight it was veering towards the sloppy. SCORE: 7/10

(I thought this was rough as, but the whole thing with Melissa Etheridge was cute, especially she is the halfway house between Crystal and Ellen. SCORE : 4/10)

Lee Dewyze’s choice: I really wish I understood the appeal of this guy, I really do. I mean, I hated David Cook, but at least I understood why other people liked him. With Lee Dewyze, I don’t even get that far. He’s just a bland white guy with a guita….oh, never mind. Maybe I do get it after all. Still, it’d be nice if he could whip out one on-pitch performance before the season’s out, but hey, maybe he’s saving that for the finale. SCORE: 4/10

(Pitch doesn’t matter! It’s about the passion! And losing yourself in the MUSIC! And all that SHIT. 6/10)

Randy & Kara’s choice for Casey Given that Kara was picking I’m surprised that she didn’t just go for The Stripper or something like that. I like how she picked out Casey’s target market as “women and girls” though. Unlike everyone else that’s ever been on the show obviously. Basically this went full force for the middle-aged ovaries and I can’t really identify, because I don’t find Casey hot in the slightest so I just felt like I was at a wedding and that I really should be drunker by now. I do love that Simon has started the OH MY GOD SONG CHOICES rubbish full-on, just in time for X Factor. SIMON PICKS SONGS BETTERER THAN RANDY! Especially when they make Danyl storm out the studio. SCORE : 5/10

(I know that Casey was always destined to be the Kimberley Locke/Vonzell Solomon/Syesha Mercado of the night, but he still let himself down with two really lacklustre performances tonight. He was almost as off-pitch as Lee. 4/10)

Ellen’s choice for Crystal HA HA HA KARA AND RANDY, ELLEN GETS ONE WHOLE PICK AND YOU GET HALF OF ONE EACH LOOOOOOOOOSERS! And she would pick this song as well. I feel like it could actually have been used on a montage on Ellen. Pre-lesbanimity obviously. After the slight mess-up of the first number she actually seemed to do a decent enough job. Nobody really nailed anything all night I don’t think, but the effortless with which she took this down was pretty sweet. Not really a moment, or particularly memorable, but enough fumes to run out to reach the final at least. SCORE : 7/10

(I don’t think this was one of her most accomplished performances, because there were a few shaky vocal moments (although when your opponents are CASEY AND LEE, I don’t think we really need to worry on that score), but I liked being reminded that we’ve got at least one strong vocalist in the top three. 8/10)

Simon’s choice for Lee: I really hope the rumour about him pitching a shit-fit when he heard about his song choice and them having to reshoot the footage was true. I really could’ve done without Simon’s whole “Dear audience, Lee is going to have A MOMENT NOW” introduction. Pimp harder, why don’t you? And I love that the never-before-heard version of ‘Hallelujah’ is essentially the same one they gave to Alexandra Burke, only with added choir. Good job the choir was there to shore him up too, because his voice cracked nastily a few times. Of course this was the attention-stealing performance of the night, but when you chuck the entire episode’s production budget behind it, what do you expect? Sigh. SCORE: 6/10

(This entire episode’s production would barely cover half of a Brian Friedman number then. WHERE WERE THE ROLLERSKATES?! SCORE : 3/10)

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