Being the sixth iteration of this blog’s annual audit of the pros.
Almost forgot about this!
Now that the cast has been fully revealed, and with a week to go before everyone gets paired up in secret and the Internet goes mental that Natalie got stuck with Ed Balls, it’s time for a blog first. Yes, I’m asking you which celeb thinks should go with which pro, via the medium of YET MORE POLLS. I know you can’t get enough, guys. Click on the below polls, then in a week’s time, via the magic of maths, I’ll reveal your Strictly line-up, just before reality renders everything here meaningless, as it so often does.
THE LADIES ARE COMPLETE!
THE MEN ARE COMPLETE!
Just before the Balls officially drop and the Strictly cast is revealed (yes, you can expect jokes of that calibre all through Ed Balls three week stay on Strictly) I just thought I’d take this opportunity to clear up what will and will not be recapped here over the forthcoming months, because you have been asking. Or at least I’d like to pretend you’re asking. I’M POPULAR!
Great British Bake Off : Yes. Whenever it starts, probably when the Olympics is over, Steve and I will be giving the usual weekly coverage of the race to crown Nadiya’s Successor. Yes it’s a year since Nadiya came into all our lives. Think on that.
Ru-Paul’s Drag Race All Stars : No. Although there may well be some form of round up post at the end, if this Survivor twist doesn’t render the show completely unwatchable.
X Factor : No
The Voice ITV : Deffffffinitely Not
The Voice Kids ITV : Double fucking no with a Widdy on top
The Apprentice : No. So really the point of this post is to reveal officially in a venue that isn’t twitter that I will not be recapping The Apprentice this year. For a number of reasons, of which the following are some- last series wasn’t very good ; the series before was worse ; whilst not completely divorced, the link between what’s seen on screen and the final results of the show are too far apart for it not to feel a bit pointless writing up what is essentially 12 weeks of pointless improv comedy ; the show itself is now working at an approximate ratio in terms of “content” : “taking the piss out of the content” of about 1 : 6, I can only add so much to it ; the new recap format felt a bit half-hearted even to me ; possibly as a result, whilst QUARTER 4 of 2015 was the most succesful in the history of the blog in terms of readers, The Apprentice recaps were the least read for that show since Series 5 ; doing it at the same time as Strictly recaps and probably the tail end of Bake Off recaps feels like it would be TOO MUCH ; nobody will ever top Dicky (except possibly in the more fevered corners of my imagination). I will, however, be doing a Monkies Of Monkies poll set covering the entire Monkseal Era, so watch out of that.
Strictly Come Dancing : Which will allow me more room to milk the living life out of Strictly Come Dancing until he never want to read a word I’ve written about it ever again. By which I mean I’m adding limited daily It Takes Two coverage to the blog. Mostly because I’m miffed I never got to recap Zoe Ball properly in 2005 let’s be be honest.
That Gary Barlow Musical Thing : Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe? I mean, on the one hand, Gary Barlow. On the other, Graham Norton AND Musical Theatre Brats again, it’s been too long. WATCH THIS SPACE (depending entirely on when it airs probably).
The British Are Coming! (Even though Gleb has left)