We start with a Pro-Dance, this time a ballroom showcase, with the forces of Strictly Good (dressed in white) facing off against the forces of Strictly Evil (dressed in black). For those keeping track, apparently the Forces Of Evil are Robin & Kristina, Artem & Karen and James & Ola, whilst the Forces Of Good are Brendan & Natalie, Vincent & Flavia, and Anton & Erin. I can think of at least three ways in which that’s wrong, but let’s go with it anyway, because at least it’s not generic bobbling around. Iveta doesn’t get to play, because, as a 10-dancer she is equally skilled at both Good and Evil.
Backstage recap filler highlights not an awful lot new, except that Victoria is incredibly needy and that Brendan’s wardship of her is becoming increasingly strained. So…nothing new at all really, I just wanted something to say. Erm…people wear make-up? Len’s Lens is similarly pointless, as it is now completely bogged down in laughing at the judges entirely scripted antics. The only dancer covered is Richard, and his slightly waxy joy faces aren’t really a locus for high comedy any more than they were during the routine itself. Still, Claudia’s here, and cackling away, so they’re doing something right at least.
Our Special Guest Stars are The Scissor Sisters who do their new song, which is a bewildering barrage of demi-obscure drag queen slang droned by Ana Matronic whilst everyone else in the band does baffling dancing in the background, to a generic gay dance-club beat, called “Let’s Have A Ki Ki” (/”Mustapha PeePee”). To say it’s not contingent with the “Strictly Culture” is an understatement, although Tess merrily copies the dance routine to look like she’s “with it”. It’s kind of sad.
Results? The Strictly Safety Sex-Faces are slow to warm up, with Fern and Dani probably giving it the best goes, with Nicky barely even registering at all. He’s just not trying is he? Oh well, I’m sure he’ll claim it’s because he couldn’t hear his name properly?
Oh yeah, the Dance Off? It’s Richard vs Johnny, with Richard being saved because Erin’s choreography had more steps in it. I know. As non-sensical as ever isn’t it? Johnny has a bit of a sad moment about how he messed up in the dance-off, and how he thinks he did well for his age, as Iveta wonders what a girl has to do not to be a First Boot. Never mind eh, Iveta? You might get someone better next serie…oh.