American Idol 2012 – Vegas Round

Viva Las Vagas!

David Leathers/Jeremy Rosado/Ariel Sprague/Gabi Carruba: They really, really, really shouldn’t have had the performance of “Rockin Robin’” so early in the show, because I swear, pretty much every up-tempo song from the 50s/60s sounds a bit like Rockin’ Robin, so I was finding myself seguing into mentally mid-way through a good 75% of the performance that followed. Then again, this was good thing during those shanky Elvis numbers. Anywho, the story of this group was Gabi Carruba getting a one-episode bitch-edit, as she fluttered around saying that she wasn’t SAYING that everyone else in her group sucked but she totally was saying that but only because she TRULY CARED and she loved them all as people and would totally be BFFs with them forever afterwards for sure. Of course this meant, karmically, that the other three members of her group sang her off the stage, particularly Ariel (who seemed to be having the most problems in rehearsal) and Jeremy. Oops. Sadly she didn’t get immediate karmic payback, because she was one of those Delayed Reaction eliminations where she kind of still got to feel a bit good about herself, but thenn I guess her “crime” was hardly that egregious in the first place.

Lady And The Spectacles: Basically Groovesauce minus one member (Reed Grimm, and let’s face it, if you had to choose one person to cut loose, you’d definitely choose him), they renamed themselves Lady And The Spectacles, because all the guys were wearing glasses for their performance, and Jen is a lady. Makes sense, I guess. They gave us a very tightly-harmonised performance of ‘Sealed With A Kiss’ in a barbershop style – much to the consternation of Peisha McPhee, who feared that this would work against them since it didn’t offer many opportunities for individuals to stand out. And I think she was both right and wrong in that, since there were definitely moments where certain people shone, but I think you had to be looking for them – and Creighton, Aaron and Jen already had a fair bit of momentum going into this, so would all have to stuff up majorly to be in trouble. Nick, on the other hand, was kind of the Tina Barrett of the ensemble and wound up getting cut (while wearing glasses that really didn’t flatter his headshape). The others were all very sympathetic about it, but it seemed like a fair enough assessment of the talent here, so *shrug*.

Lauren Gray, Wendy Taylor and Camp Counsillor Mathenee: I for one will miss great big campy positive camp-counsillor Mathenee’s presence on the show, which has been a constant ray of sunshine since Hollywood Week began. But I think taking no real role in your performance other than singing 1 line and drawing great big hearts in the air was never going to be a route to stardom, or even the next round. In the end, I guess he was just too nice. Unlike Psycho Peggy Blue, who this week declared there to be “no crying in music”, which I think is officially the point where she jumped the shark from awesome psycho presence to nonsensical babbler. Somebody show this woman the video for “Nothing Compares 2 U” STAT.

MIT+1: Trading out Riche “Cowturd” Law for Neco Starr has to be the greatest transaction in the history of commerce hasn’t it? And bless Heejun for doing his homework like a good nerd and knowing about Psycho Peggy Blue, and also for deploying all his charm on her to make her love him and hug him and generally give him the official American Idol Seal Of Approval, along with the rest of MIT+1. Personally I found their version of “I Only Have Eyes For You” one of the better efforts of the night, and found the retroactive cut of Jairon slightly baffling, although may he felt the sting for being the only person on the show willingly to be genuinely diplomatic towards the Satanic Cowboy. Reality TV doesn’t need diplomats Jairon. THINK ON.

The Neapolitans: Seriously, why did some of these groups get names and the others didn’t? I really wanted to know what vaguely inappropriate Reed would have given his group. Reed Grimm And The Children Of Tomorrow or some culty shit like that. Anyway, the Neapolitans were so named because one of them was vanilla, one of them was chocolate, and one of them was a crazy bitch cussing everyone out and flicking the finger on the way out saying that the show didn’t pick a true artist like what she was, the true artist who pimped herself out during her stay on the show mostly via having a disabled boyfriend WHAT A TRUE ARTIST. Then again the whole group radiated smug from the off with their assertion that they didn’t need to rehearse with the band because they were professionals like that. Although not even that explained why they apparently didn’t bother to rehearse their choreography, which a Grade 3 cheerleading squad could have knocked off in 5 seconds.

Reed Grimm/Hayley Johnson/Eben Franckewitz/Elise Testone: So this is where Reed Grimm ended up after leaving/being forcibly ejected from Groovesauce. They were performing ‘The Night Has A Thousand Eyes’ with some absolutely hideous choreography; although to be fair, that might just have been Reed slinking across the stage, looking more like a sexual predator than I ever thought possible – and I say this as someone who’s watched countless episodes of Law & Order: Sexy Victims Unit. The guys let this group down – Reed wasn’t sounding that great and Eben was full-on flat through most of it. Elise was okay, and Hayley was probably the standout, though I don’t really ever remember seeing her before. The judges are clearly made of sterner stuff than I, because they opted to put all of these people through rather than place a direct call to Stabler and Benson.

Richie Law & Jermaine Jones: They ended up together because they were both originally in groups with girls and couldn’t make their deep voices blend properly (at least, that’s the excuse Richie gave – I think they asked him to go away because the number of people on this show who can stand him appears to be decreasing by the second). They chose ‘Make It Easy On Yourself’ for their duet, which is one of the GREATEST SONGS OF ALL TIME, and actually Jermaine’s deep, rich voice sounded pretty good on this song. I mean, I wonder how long I can listen to him before growing tired of it, but it’s still a good voice. Richie, on the other hand, was unequal to the task and was frequently drowned out by Jermaine, and proceeded to make a nuisance of himself after they were both told they were through by hooking Jermaine around the neck and nearly decapitating him as he jumped for joy. At this point it’s becoming clear that Richie doesn’t actually MEAN to make people hate him, but he really is getting quite good at it all the same.

Schylar Dixon/Brielle Von Hugel/Molly Hunt: And so Girl Dixon’s run on this show reaches its inevitable conclusion, as she’s cut while the brother who didn’t even want to try out marches onward. I swear this show’s attempting to shatter the Dixon family dynamic good and proper. She got the most frustrating cut of all, too – the “we liked you on day one, but decided there were better people on day two and cut you in hindsight” version. That’s gotta sting, as Gabi Carruthers knows only too well. Anyway, Molly did nothing and was cut on day one, so the only person to survive their performance of ‘Why Do Fools Fall In Love’ (in costumes that really should only be used to perform ‘The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy’) was Brielle Von Hugel, who basically did her utmost to block the others from being seen by the cameras at all times. Her mother’s daughter, that one.