The Amazing Race 14 Leg 7 : India – Thailand

Thanks to whoever ruined it by insisting that everyone pronounce “Phuket” the right way. Killjoys.

The Apprentice 5 – Episode 1

I’m not opening this year with a joke about “cleaning up”. I’m just not.

American Idol 8 – Motown Week

This is getting dangerously close to season 6, where two and a bit people were amazing and everyone else kind of sucked, and then my favourites went out in 3rd and 4th and I had an annyeurism. Except this time, instead of Jordin Sparks we kind of have Taylor Hicks and I may finally go spark-o over this show which has no relevance to my musical life whatsoever because nobody from it ever launches over here.

Also, Smokey Robinson is weird.

The Apprentice 5 Episode 1 Summary

Riding in on a wave of previews that spoil exactly who’s getting fired within 5 minutes it’s the new series of The Apprentice!

7 boys (one guy having apparently realised he was too Jewish or some shit), 7 girls, and a Lorraine all arrived, with a dissapointing paucity of bullshit self-aggrandising quotes, at Amstrad Towers in order to escape the CREDIT CRUNCH via a “job” with Siralan. They include Yasmina the Slytherin Hermione Grainger, Majid who is totally not sexist but is but isn’t but he’s only joking but he is but he isn’t but ladies eh?, what can you do guys but he’s not sexist, Kimberly (SHAZAM!) the rough-tough cream puff , and Phillip who is such a whiny bitch that he’s lucky that he doesn’t have a vagina, otherwise the Internet would have lynched him already. Still, at least the villains this year appear halfway competent. Unlike last year (*cough*Celery*cough*)

Team are divided by gender (a-fucking-gain) and told to set up a business cleaning stuff (both eventually deciding on cars). Half-man half-fish Howard drifts into the lead for the boys but then promptly gets steamrollered by Phillip and spends the rest of the task just looking at everyone else working. Beauty Queen(?) Mona buys herself a week of freedom by being the only woman prepared to even consider PMing, then almost blows it by having no business plan whatsoever and spending lots of money on fancy jet-powered cleaning machines that aren’t needed and nobody can work.

The girls make marginally more money than the boys, but are screwed by their over-spending, leading to a boardroom of Beauty(?) Queen Mona, a dissappointingly bitchy and melodramatic Debrabarr (who “lead” the other half of the team via a mixture of posturing and back-biting WHICH SHE NEVA), and Gruntilda-Doll Anita who is a lawyer and who has a job with lots of words in and who is therefore fired. Well at least the fodder is going early so far, rather than lasting til the end (*cough*Sophocles*cough*)

Full recap at the weekend.

She And Him

Am currently slightly obsessed with this song, Zooey Deschannel and M Ward in a slightly disturbing way. But mostly Zooey Deschannel.

Seriously, I might even rent The Happening just so I can stare at her face. In a gay gay way.

The Amazing Race 14 Leg 6 : Russia – India

The all-female team India curse strikes again!

American Idol 8 : Grand Ole Opry Week

My one week country fix for the year.

The Apprentice 2009 Preview

I would like an automatic firing for the first person who says “credit crunch”.

Amazing Race 14 Leg 5 : Russia

Man, they weren’t even TRYING to make that nudity look non-gratuitous.

American Idol 8 : Michael Jackson Week

The presence of a few up-tempo numbers automatically putting it ahead of the same theme week on X Factor.