Sweeney Todd

Fun Fact : Helena Bonham Carter is married to Tim Burton. And if you didn’t know that before you watched this film, there’s no way you wouldn’t afterwards.

Juno

Warning : not suitable for anyone with an allergy to cutesy indie.

The Brit Awards 2008

The future’s made of coal ; the past is made of gold

OMGNevilleLongbottomWTF?

Seriously. That’s Neville Longbottom (aka Matthew Lewis). Off of the Harry Potter movies. I am so glad that my thinking “He is going to break some hearts when he’s older” means that I have a keen eye, and that I should be working for Elite Models as a talent scout or something, and not that I am in fact a gross paedo.

Avenue Q

Finally! I get to see a second-string reality tv show contestant in a show that captured the zeitgeist about 5 years ago! YEEEEEEEEEEAY!

(No really. I actually was excited. If only because I get to debut a new tag.)

Nigella Lawson

So apparently tv wonder-chef Nigella Lawson has stated that she’s not going to include her children to in her will, in order to teach them the value of hard work. Instead of relying on a big fat inheritance they’ll have to hit the coal-face like everybody else.

And whilst I hold no brief against Nigella (she’s one of the few people I can both appreciate in a “straight” and “ironic” fashion in the same instant), all the same I can’t help thinking that all the “well done Nigella, you’re instilling good solid values in your children, unlike all those working class DOLE SCUM!” pootering around the middle-press (including Amanda Platell on Question Time, who we’re still somehow taking seriously as an advisor on anything when she, via her l33t PR skills, made one of the most intelligent Tory politicians of the last 20 years completely and utterly unelectable) a little bit much.

 Because these children are the offspring off Britain’s second most succesful celebrity chef. And a man who, via his cancer diaries, went some way to defining the nature of late 90s British journalism. They’re the step-children of an incredibly wealthy member of the most powerful advertising dynasty in recent British history. They’re called Cosima and Bruno.

Their smooth futures were bought for them the instant sperm met egg, whether Nigella’s death dumps millions of pounds on them at age 50 or not.